If you've ever been playing Baldur's Gate 3 and you're getting ready to beat Ketheric Thorm with an 11,000 pound bear, you've probably wondered what exactly you should yell when you make him jump.

In response to a Twitter thread asking for the most accurate way to say "Jesus fuckin' Christ," Ed Greenwood, author of the Forgotten Realms setting, provides an authoritative and detailed explanation of how to properly curse pantheism (Wargamer Thanks, Mr. Wargamer).

"So in the Realms, every sane person believes in all the gods," Greenwood explains. And, he explains, "They swear by either the gods they most revere or the gods who offend them most."

"So for Mistra, the goddess (of magic), the equivalent oath would be: 'Elminster, falking aumar!'"

[8 In context, "farruk" is the equivalent of f-bomb in the Forgotten Realms. The reason why Elminster came up is because he is the chosen one of Mithra, the Jesus Christ of D&D. In other words, he is the Jesus Christ of D&D. Greenwood also cites several other Christ-like figures of the Gods.

Congratulations, you now know the exact phrase to make Shadowheart gasp and cling to his pearls or stab you to death. Probably the latter.

However, as Greenwood reminds us, sacred vows in the Forgotten Realms usually "by (attribute of) (God) ......" follows the structure of "the (attribute) of (God). That is, "By the unholy madness of Silic!" or "By the unshakable whip of Loviatar!" or "By the blessed blood of Ilmater!" And.

Certainly too many words to utter after scraping your toes or getting your fingers caught in a car door, but still nice to be well equipped. Greenwood's wisdom soon attracted aspiring devotees who asked how to swear by their favorite deity. Hoar, the god of retribution, for example, "By Hoar's striking lightning!" , "By the three thunderbolts of Doombringer!" and "Jaxane Degaard Falking Doomfall!" can be tempted with the phrases.

Eilistrei, the benevolent drow goddess of the chaos of freedom, beauty, swordplay, and dance (the list of realms goes on for a while), can drive her flippant with the phrases: "Cazra falking luantra!" or "By the scorching beauty of the Dark Dancer!" or, more gently, "By the sacred dance of the goddess!"

I especially like Greenwood's drawl phrase." Eltiah Lolth!" or "Lolth spit!" or "Ua tah phind thlah ea Lolth!" which means "By Lolth's deadly kiss!" which means. This is perfect for when you want to tell a dassler or oglin that their wave is a wella.

So how do we upset the Kesseric Soom before we destroy it with an orbital bear? Unfortunately, Greenwood says, "Kesserick furlaking Sohm!" would have sufficed, but he didn't say so. There is, however, an appropriate phrase for the supposedly fearful looking Myrkleans: "By the Grim Reaper's tireless smile!" and "By the Lord's endless bones!" are appropriate cries of fear.

As for incorporating these delightful new words into our current vocabulary, perhaps we should call the Sex%speedrun a Farruking%speedrun.